C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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