you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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