i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
