When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
