you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
