This is not my ceiling
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
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