Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I didn't notice because vodka
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
