I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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