You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
