I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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