No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
