How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
