so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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