quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
