How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
