garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
