I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
