a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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