I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
