come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My bed smells like the plague
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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