Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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