Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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