I wanna passion pit in your ass
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
