I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
