somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
bring money and cleavage
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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