the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
