I'm laying in your front yard are you home
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize