okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
