Girls should come with a carfax report
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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