did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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