He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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