that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
