My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
