You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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