It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
