my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You left your underwear on the fireplace
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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