I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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