how can u be prego again
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
