wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
