I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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