This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
