i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize