I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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