Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
