So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
