your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
