either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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