brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
