His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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