just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
