if i can run in heels then i can drive
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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