marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
