The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
