I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
