Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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