Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
