is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My feet surprised me
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