she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
