Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
