discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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