Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
