The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
