Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
