Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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