Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
