found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize