the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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